Perhaps the most damaging interactions between couples are the following retaliations at each other:
Guilt: “If you loved me, you wouldn’t do this”
Threats: “I will end this relationship, now!”
Shame: “How can you possibly live with yourself?”
Rage: ” I hate everything about you!”
Tears: “You are breaking my heart”
These can only alienate the partner, pushing them to detach and close up in their cocoon, increasing distance and underlying depression or anxiety.
Change the narrative, open up, be curious, offer support, “How can I help you with this?” Be vulnerable, build trust.
Have a CONVERSATION.
